Steve Gadlin's piece of the Internet

While by all rights the airing of the Don’t Spit the Water! pilot should have been the banner event of my 2011, it was overshadowed. In July, on a whim (that will be the title of my autobiography), I shot a quick email to the Shark Tank casting department. Shark Tank is an ABC reality show where entrepreneurs pitch their inventions or business ideas to a panel of sharks – millionaire and billionaire business-folks – with the hopes of receiving financial backing. I had seen the show a few times – it almost always consisted of some clueless entrepreneur defending their legitimate business while the sharks degraded them with a fierce line of questioning.

Here’s the text of my email to Shark Tank casting:

Hey there.

I draw stick figure cats for people at $9.95/pop.

http://iwanttodrawacatforyou.com

I believe with some investment, I can turn this into a bazillion dollar company.

In just 6 months, I’ve sold and drawn over 1,000 cats!

I need some money to invest in marketing and advertising. Also, for a giant swimming pool to hold all of my incoming bucks.

Thanks for your time, please let me pitch this to the sharks!!

This was actually the second time I had emailed Shark Tank casting. I had sent a similar message the year before, and it was ignored. So I expected the same result. But one night, while pacing, getting ready to hop on stage for Impress These Apes, I noticed a missed call from California. Shark Tank casting had reached out to me, and they wanted to talk.

Without completely giving up their complicated casting procedure, I’ll say that I spent the next two months speaking with them a couple of times a week. They had me create a couple of videos, write up several versions of my pitch to the Sharks… and at each step I was told that nothing was guaranteed. In fact, I was pretty certain I’d be dropped from the process, and I’d chalk this up to another one of those cool experience I almost got to have. But they kept calling back. And we kept moving forward. And then one day, they sent me my plane tickets and itinerary for a 5-day trip to Los Angeles.

I flew out to LA on September 5th, two days after the airing of the DSTW pilot. It was one of the greatest weeks I’ve ever had – and at some point I’ll write about it in depth. It felt great to disappear for a week and re-connect with some LA friends. Watching Shark Tank be produced was such an awesome experience. I’ve had some exposure to TV behind the scenes, but none of it measured up to this scale. I was in awe the whole time.

On September 8th, I got to walk down the shark-infested hallway and deliver my pitch to Mark Cuban, Daymond John, Kevin O’Leary, Barbara Corcoran, and Robert Herjavec. To say it was surreal would be a gross understatement. And while the outcome is a secret until the episode airs on January 27th, it’s pretty irrelevant to the great feeling I had flying home the next morning.

2011 closed in a grand fashion – the DSTW pilot airing, the Shark Tank taping… and the airing on 2012 promises to kick off this year in a ridiculous and special way.

But the real highlights of 2012 all come after January. In February, Jackson turns 2. A couple of months later, a new baby boy joins the family. And on April 24th, my Izzie turns 5-years old.

The one thing I’ve learned to count on is that, hard as I try, I have no idea what surprises await me this year. I’m growing to love the mystery of it all.

I don’t have a good memory for years. I remember 2010 as being a bit of a downer. Hope for any success moving Don’t Spit the Water! to television had been fizzling out fast. Then I hit my lowest point at the top of November, when Paul Luikart and I took 2nd place in the Andy Kaufman Awards. We had just given what I think was our best performance ever… and came so close to the prize… so when we walked away with 2nd, I was just about ready to throw in the towel.

I had peaked! It was over! The universe had given me a pat on the back and a 2nd place certificate, and said, “now get back to work.”

And then, as 2010 was coming to a close, Groupon ran a deal for my silly cat drawing project, and the world opened up again. Suddenly, over the course of a week, I was in the Huffington Post, Chicago Public Radio, all sorts of blogs and podcasts, and had appearances on WGN Radio and NBC News. That boost gave me the life and drive to turn 2011 into one of the best years of my life, and as it comes to a close, 2012 is looking mighty fine.

In 2011, I decided to take the fate of Don’t Spit the Water! into my own hands. Since its exciting peak in 2008, where we performed for Comedy Central and got to pitch the show out in LA, I had been leaning on other people to make something out of this show. We had an option deal with Syd Vinnedge productions for a while. Then with some guy named Jeff. Then with a guy in New Zealand. And as that dried up, I came to a realization that I come to often:

Nobody gives a shit about your shit but you.

Maybe that’s something I made up. Or maybe that’s something Don Hall told me one time. Either way, it’s a far more optimistic maxim than it sounds. And it gave me the energy and impetus to look at things differently. I schemed. I cooked up a plan. And just days before my 35th birthday, I put it into action.

I stayed late and hung around my boss’s door on a Friday, and luckily caught him as he walked from one office to another. In one of my more gutsy moments, I asked him to make me a deal. I asked him if he would guarantee me that if I raised enough money to finance my own pilot shoot, that he would give it at least one airing on one of Weigel’s stations. I caught him on a good day. He said yes – and with that guarantee, the Don’t Spit the Water! Kickstarter project was launched. 101 backers later, we raised the money we needed… and on September 3rd, at midnight, on WCIU, The U, Don’t Spit the Water! had its television debut.

It was a fine, fine moment, watching that show on television surrounded by people who’ve contributed to its success. The whole experience was great – from the months of preparation, to the day long shoot, to the actual airing… that was my 2011, right there.

It’s almost a shame that an experience that was years in the making would be so quickly overshadowed. DSTW aired on a Saturday. Two days later I was on a plane to Los Angeles for what would be one of the coolest experiences of my life…

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

Gadlin Takes “I Want to Draw a Cat For You” to ABC’s Shark Tank

12/28/11, Chicagoist, by Chuck Sudo

Read this on Chicagoist.com

Blewt! Productions’ Steve Gadlin is taking his “I Want to Draw a Cat For You” business to another level: reality television.

Gadlin will appear on ABC’s Shark Tank where he’ll pitch his stick figure cat art business before the show’s panel of millionaires and billionaires as a worthy investment of their money. For those who don’t know about “I Want to Draw a Cat For You,” here’s a recap: A person commissions a cat drawing scenario — say, a cat floating in a giant saucer of milk — and Gadlin will draw it to his best ability, number it and send the original to the person who commissioned the drawing for $9.95.

It started off as a joke, but a Groupon last year resulted in so many people buying it that Gadlin’s arm almost fell off trying to honor the purchases. To date, over 1,300 drawings have been commissioned. Gadlin taped his episode of Shark Tank shortly after the pilot of his game show Don’t Spit the Water aired on WCIU-TV.

In a press release announcing his Shark Tank appearance, Gadlin was expectedly mum on the outcome. He did say, “Appearing on the show was an absolute blast. It was one of coolest experiences of my life.”

Gadlin’s episode of Shark Tank will air Jan. 27. For more on “I want to Draw a cat for You,” please go back and listen to Karl’s podcast with Gadlin from last year.

Jackson sits down for a roll.

My son, Jackson, is now almost two years old. And while most of that time has been spent running from me and into the arms of his mother, it seems we’ve finally found some common ground. Jack likes to roll. He’ll grab one of his cars or trucks and wave it in my face – just waiting for the magic words, “Jack, you wanna roll that?” When he hears them, he smiles broadly and runs to assume the position at one end of the hallway. He’ll plop down and motion for me to take a seat at the opposite end.

And then we’ll engage in a game as old as the wheel – pushing something back and forth until we get tired of it. There’s no pretend involved. There’s little sound, no talking – just rolling.

This is the exact opposite of the games that his sister, Izzie, enjoys. Games with Izzie involve running from one room to another, chasing, singing, dancing, screaming… they are frantic and seemingly without plot or purpose. And I love those games. But sitting and rolling with Jack is calming, almost relaxing. And there’s a real connection to be made being involved in such a singular, focused purpose – passing something back and forth and back and forth.

I find myself initiating these games from time to time, now. In the middle of the standard family-of-four chaos, I’ll reach for Lightning McQueen, or a book he has that’s also a firetruck, and I’ll motion toward the hallway. The games will only last a minute or three, usually until Becky walks by, and he’s screaming for his mother. But I’ll take ‘em.

I’m always happy when I’m tapped to participate in Claire Zulkey‘s excellent reading series, Funny Ha-Ha. It takes place at The Hideout from time to time, and features some very funny people.

I’ll be performing a reading of several incendiary Craigslist posts and coffee shop bulletin board flyers, and the passionate responses received from the unwitting public, by email and voice mail. It’s going to be a fun one. I hope you can check it out!

The fine folks at Sony had asked me to draw several cats that they could send out as part of their press blast for the new Shark Tank season. I was expecting a list of unrecognizable names – TV writers for publications that I don’t read. They told me if I wanted to just draw one cat for everyone, they’d be fine just duplicating that and sending it out. And since I needed to have the cats drawn, packed up, and shipped the next morning, I figured that was probably the best idea.

Whoopi's butt says, 'Whoopi!'

Then they sent me the list. The top few names were just what I expected – names I’ve never seen, writers and reporters for Entertainment Weekly, People, USA Today, etc. Barbara Walters. Whoopi Goldberg. The rest of the ladies from The View. Billy Bush. Kelly Ripa. Jimmy Kimmel. Kathie Lee. Hoda. Wait a second.

Forget drawing one cat for everyone – this was my cat drawing dream list! So on Monday night, at around 8pm, I sat down to draw, scan, and frame 18 of the most important cats I have ever drawn – including this one for Whoopi Goldberg, in which she lets loose a rear symphony, and tries to blame Barbara Walters. And as I inked the blast lines from Whoopi Goldberg’s butt, it dawned on me that this was likely the most important fart I had ever put on paper. Because if Whoopi Goldberg is somehow moved or impressed by a cat version of herself blasting tushpickles on the set of The View, then the world, friends, is my oyster.

So here’s hoping I nailed it. And here’s hoping this stick figure cat drawing project adds “sitting on the couch with my The View gals” to the list of strange, strange places it has taken me.

On Friday, I received a long-awaited call from Sony PR telling me that the segment I taped for Shark Tank was going to air on January 27th. This was exciting for a whole bunch of reasons, most important being I was finally allowed to acknowledge I ever taped for the show. Exactly two days after WCIU aired the Don’t Spit the Water! pilot, I was on a plane for a week-long trip to LA, where I would ultimately stand on the Shark Tank set and try to convince a panel of rich folks to invest in my custom stick figure cat drawing business.

After the show airs, I’ll write a bit more about my experiences that week. It was one of the most surreal and exciting experiences of my life. Without giving the ending away, I will say they have enough footage to make me look savvy or insane – it’s all in how they want to edit it. I have a little anxiety about potentially looking the fool on national television. But if they paint me as a bozo, it just makes for a better story.

It is an understatement to say that this silly stick figure cat drawing project has taken me to some unexpected places. One day I will write a book called, “The Two-Sentence Emails That Changed My Life.” The DSTW pilot. The Cat drawing Groupon. The Nairobi Project. Shark Tank. These are all products of me daring to ask a short, stupid question – and someone on the other end replying, “sure, why not?”

2011 has had an interesting finish. If you enjoy seeing me get humiliated, I’m sure you’ll walk away satisfied. Tune in to ABC at 7pm CST on Friday, January 27th, to see if I was able to convince real live millionaires and billionaires that there’s a future and a market for custom stick figure cats!

Claire Zulkey models her Tee

So the Two Film T-Shirt launch wasn’t quite as explosive as I may have fantasized. I was pretty sure I’d sell about a thousand of these things in the first few days… because hey, who doesn’t like two films? But what’s obvious to me sometimes takes a little while to catch on with the money-spending masses. So even though I’ve only sold 12 shirts since launching on Sunday, I’m still a long way from chalking this one up as a failure. And I can feel momentum in me bones! The tides be a-turning! Just a few minutes ago I sold a shirt to someone I’ve never met as a gift for her brother in LA. And everyone who loves two films has two friends who love two films. And those two friends each have two two-film loving friends. And at some point, two times two times two times two times two gets to be a gazillion.

Steve W. models his Tee

I’m really digging the photo gallery over on TwoFilmTShirts.com. I hope people continue to submit their photos. Each time one comes in, my head inflates a little bit, and I think, “man, this is more than a t-shirt… it’s a movement!” We’re talking Occupy Wall Street significance!

The nice thing about Two Film T-Shirts is that it’s a very low maintenance project. Sure, it was born of several late, late nights. But now I can just sort of sit back and hope it catches on. So in the meantime, I’ll be working to launch two more new projects in the “Stupid Products for Stupid Living” line. Stay tuned for IWantToWriteASongForYou.com, and IWantToTwirlAroundForYou.com in 2012!

Speaking of segues… how about that brand new Dave Gilley-ized logo up at the top of the page, eh?

I’m losing my filter. There used to be a time where I could dream up a project, and decide within minutes that it was actually too stupid to ever execute. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that my threshold for stupidity has disappeared completely. I’m going to say good thing – though after I lose my shirt on this ridiculous t-shirt concept, maybe I’ll think otherwise.

Two Film T-Shirts! They’re shirts for people who want to express their appreciation for TWO movies, not just ONE! I’m solving a problem that doesn’t exist, and hoping that the sheer stupidity of the concept sells a few thousand of these things. Hey, I moved a butt-ton of stick figure cat drawings, right? We’ll launch these puppies in about a week, and I’m going to cross my fingers that these things sell. I’m fairly confident that they will – maybe not at the level required to break even on this project, but at least enough to get me in the news a few more times.

Check out my uber-rad hang-tag!

If nothing else, this project has been a great lesson in setting up drop-shipment as a custom t-shirt client. Over several weeks I leaped through the fifty steps and hurdles required to get that relationship off the ground. But now, all I have to do is send an image file and order file, each set to very exact and impossible specifications, and some company in Chicago prints a shirt, sticks a super rad Blewt! hang-tag on it, and ships it to the customer. Product fulfillment, as I continue to learn with my cat drawing project, is a big pain in the ass. So it’s nice to have that part handled by someone else. And if the Two Film T-Shirt concept tanks, I can use that relationship to spawn other t-shirt ideas.

The concept is this: you go to the website, TwoFilmTShirts.com, and type in any two film titles. You then get a T-shirt with both of those titles typed in very plain font, separated by the word AND in quotes, and then the TFTS logo. Putting the AND in quotes in a little homage to random and poor grammar. The logo was designed by Dave Gilley, whose other logo work can be admired on the recently re-vamped Blewt.com.

On Saturday, a crack crew including brilliant filmmaker Steve Delahoyde and Stock Yard Films‘ Mike Leber met to shoot the Two Film T-Shirts commercial. This is a prime example of improper proportions – the amount of work that went into this commercial will far outweigh any reasonable benefit that it might produce – but isn’t that the hallmark of a Blewt! project? This commercial shoot involved buying wood at a hardware store, painting that wood, cutting that wood, and assembling that wood into set pieces! It involved costumes, props, lots of lights, something called a CYC… in short, it was freaking insane. We shot the commercial at a brand new space owned by Product Productions – a real live film stage, with real live film stage things.

Here are some photos from our commercial shoot.

This is going to be awesome. The cast and crew went all out to make this happen, and if nothing else, it will be a testament unto itself. Hopefully it will move many, many t-shirts.

Front: Alan Metoskie, Scot Goodhart. Back: Stephanie Sylvester, Jennifer Staben, and Erica Reid Gerdes.

Blewt! projects often net long, long days sitting in one place, watching weirdo after weirdo perform weirdly. This started with the Silly Sessions projects – long days watching person after person make silly faces, do silly dances, whisper to a toy horse, or lick a pickle. Don’t Spit the Water! auditions brought in strange comedy routines, one after another. And Impress These Apes cattle calls are always long days watching the weirdo parade. This project was no different – and I wouldn’t have it any other way. How do I spell success? I think this picture spells it out pretty clearly.

Fill a room with brilliant freaks. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Well it all seemed like a great idea at the time.

Several months ago, for shits and giggles, I sent an email to the guy who owned Fart.com, asking if he’d please let me have the domain to do with as I pleased in exchange for 50% of whatever revenue that brings in. The current owners didn’t really have much there – just one of those keyword-catch-all pages designed to scrape ad network dollars from whatever traffic the domain happened to bring in. So I figured it was worth a shot. Fart.com – it’s a pretty valuable piece of Internet real estate, and I figured it deserved to look like it.

Surprise surprise, after just one phone call, they said yes. The next day, they made the appropriate DNS changes, and I suddenly found myself in control of Fart.com. I will admit to being overcome by a quick burst of power here.

I quickly posted a landing page with a mailing list sign-up, and started tracking the traffic. It was not as high as you might thing. The site, without any marketing, brought in about 300 visitors each day. I had been expecting that there would be thousands of people each minute curiously typing Fart.com into their browser. Nope. Only about 300 per day. But the mailing list grew slowly, and by the time I was ready to launch an actual site a couple of weeks later, there were about 100 people signed up to receive more information.

Site #1 was a little ambitious. I wanted to take the capital of potty humor (Fart.com) and turn it into a bastion of intellectual discourse on the rear-arts. I enlisted a large group of humorists and writers and had them write smart fart or poop-based essays. Also, there was a big red button you could click, and it would make a fart noise.

I’m sure you can imagine which feature drew the most visitors.

Even with fresh content, updated daily, the site refused to pull in more than its default 300 daily visitors. I had lined the page with affiliate banners for buying things like fart machines, stink spray, and the like – but drew no sales. The effort of keeping up with daily posts began to wear on me, and the once-enthusiastic writers began to dry up… so after only a few weeks, the site grew stagnant.

Site #2 was a bit easier to maintain. A long time ago I had experimented with a site called FartURL.com – a URL shortening service, similar to TinyURL.com, or Bit.Ly. It turned long URLs into Twitter-sized micro-links. The difference, of course, was that I threw in an intermediary page that played a fart noise. I copied the service over to Fart.com, thinking it’d be a big hit – but it wasn’t. Again, the traffic leveled off at about 300 visitors per day, and the revenue was lacking.

So I threw in the towel. Just last week I told the Fart.com owners that they could have their domain back. I had a great idea for site #3, but it’s such an ambitious project I doubt I could ever get it built in a reasonable amount of time. It’s a service like FourSquare, or Twitter – The Fart Cloud, if you will… where users log each of their farts using the web site or a mobile app. The site would display a map of the world with little farts appearing in real time all across the globe.

It’s a service that the world needs. And if build properly, it could change the entire fart-o-sphere. So I offer this project up to anyone who’s reading. If you turn it into a million bucks, just spend a few of those bucks on one of these.