Â This post is subtitled, “I apologize in advance to any Chinese people in the room.”
Â I found an ad on Craigslist today looking for a Chinese baseball announcer.Â I thought it would be fun to respond to the ad, so I sent out this email from the old Stones Throw Films email address that we used for the Project Bridgeport prank.
Greetings!Â My name is Steve, and I’m responding to your Craigslist ad for a Chinese Baseball Announcer:
I am very interested in this position.Â I know baseball backwards and forwards.Â I know all of the terminology, and am very familiar with all of the players in the game.
The only catch: I do not speak actual Chinese.Â I do, however, speak AMAZING fake Chinese.Â A non-Chinese speaker would not be able to tell that I’m not speaking actual Chinese.Â From my tones and inflections, they would assume that I am speaking PERFECT Chinese.
I have fake Chinese down to a science.Â I would like to apply my fake Chinese to report on local baseball games, especially Cubs games.
Please get back to me at your earliest convenience.Â I would like to impress you over the phone with my incredible fake Chinese.
I did not expect to get a reply… but a half hour later, this email arrived:
Please reply with your contact number so we can discuss and go overÂ the job requirement on the phone.
I wrote Jason back and explained that I wouldn’t be near my own phone this evening, but if he’d give me his phone number, I’d be happy to call him tonight.Â I figured by this point he would have read my original email and would recognize me as a prankster.Â Instead, he sent me his phone number.
So I called him.
Here’s my job interview for a Chinese Baseball Announcer:
I post this in my final hour as a 31 year-old.Â Perhaps maturity is just around the corner.